neutered

marching across
the patio with 
fernet and a coke

she beams
rises
moves to greet
me

precious minutes left
i tell
her

she moves in
real and warm
we press 
together

i know the drink
will catch
up
before long
but in that embrace
the pressure swelling
my head
capitulates

my limbs should
feel like i was
just electrocuted
yet
i am absurdly
alive and 
ranting dramatic
overcome with
such a 
minor success

my romance is
childish
gorgeously 
naive

i'm in my teens
again
feeling too much
optimism
its bad for my skin
and worse
on the
heart

i read too much
into
these things

i tell
myself
not to get
attached
so fast

but this gamble 
of nature
neutered by 
reason and experience
is the only 
way i know