question the only pure motivations you've ever known, by force of habit, by threat of death

am I right back where this started
counting moments til I crack
a smile on that porcelain pout
or til I get to read a thought or two
from you
in your busy ways
counting how many days I have
kept out of the sun is
more fun than reading reason
from all that I have undone and
reasons for not doing all I have not done