if the definition
of insanity is to
commit the same
behavior redundantly
expecting different
results then you
can call me
phineas gage
inkblot test
for one to project
their worried
mindlessness onto
my worried
mindlessness
its fucking madness
and i am bathing
in its coarse bubbles
these days when
i pinch a
few hairs
out of my
beard
half of them are
white cables
a few brown
often one stray orange
like a squad
sent to diffuse
a
situation
i must consider
from time
to time
the temptation
to cut
the wrong
wire
the musky undercurrent
of murder la petit
covered fractionally
in skunk flower aroma
i can smell what i need
in the seeded air
of spring and cog and gear
fear never the severance
of plot and politic
for these things grow heretic
as they evolve
charms of sweetness
cute animal expression
anthro-digression
hormonal premonition
acts primal and direct
there's this mountain
driving up from
the sea floor
i never know
exactly where
to put it
shorelines
beachheads
drown in my foam
rocks dance and thrust
undulating
til they're sand
preservation
in the face of
disaster
subdivision
of time and of
newborn crust
freshly aware
of the process
confusion
overwhelms me
while i try to
sleep close in
illiterate
in this language
i hang my
head in disgust
or is this just
orange rust
divide us
poseidon
conquer us
summon all your
great blue green beasts
saline dad
and swallow up
the wasted
confetti of
democratic heart
through great caged teeth
our intentions
dead and alive
swim down into
the basking belly
my romance is merely
plankton for the ages
never to absorb
envelop or
otherwise
devour
these are the day's
ablutions
lessons like
mad leaps
off the self
same cliffs
we call faith
love suicide
hormonal
intervention
intuition
obsession
cultish self-
indictment
mood conquers
the event
and its
determinism
proved
no mammal fruit
of the skull
but overripe
spider plants
spindly melons
with chaos gait
i should have
nodded to Tuesday
i should have crept
out in the night
i should have had
lingual training
i should
have known
better
never too much,
never enough,
together
under the dark
curtains
under those pale
eyes
made up in severe
pinks and black,
somehow graceful,
somehow ablaze
she has firm
dry hands, and
she has a sense
of bloody humor.
wood chipper humor.
chainsaw humor.
she makes vegan
foods, and
shouts
for noble heads
to roll
she understands
the nature of synthesis,
the aural
implications
of voltage controlled
this one may be the
death of me.
I say
bring it.
some power glitch
has occurred
the security lamp
under my windowsill
won't stop blinking
herbie chugs forward
braver and more resourceful
than ten
lewis and clarks
in my cans and
i crank the volume up
lightning precedes
the thunder
rising bright
in my chest
like naive love
like psychedelic onset
like a sneeze
like cardiac arrest
like
i just prayed to the
porcelain goblet tonight
first time in a while
the way i've been living
i'm actually proud of myself
for not puking more
it happens to my cat
every few days
and
she doesn't even have the luxury
of alcohol or foresight enough
to use the toilet
i flush
a winner
in the lottery
of evolution
the only truthful behaviors
like combat
prostitution
suicide
are discouraged
until
we talk only
about weather and time and
color and light and
defeat and
surrender
submission is
decision
and restraint is
a masturbating
bondage model
growing
too numb
to get
off
love withers
to mystical motives
that only drive
the slave trade
until we're all
felt puppets
with sticky
fur
and
no
idea
what just
happened
the nature of infinity
-or-
the universe is an infinite sphere<?>
whose center is everywhere<?>and
whose circumference is nowhere<?>
its the year of the monkey
god tells me
when I enter
the search criteria:
2016 chinese zodiac year
I was born
in the year of
the cock
I am also The
Water Bearer
or
so they tell me
the goddamned
cat
is scratching and
stirring
and braying
oddly at
the door
fucking cunt just
came back in
minutes ago
this might go on all
night
mantra
the days are
finally
getting longer.
the nights are soaked
in beer instead
of dread and
drizzle.
the keyboard hums
and wails.
the monitors
flare.
i feel my
potency
returning
though my
balls need
a trim
i can get up
and run
today
like a crazed
dictator.
time is something i own
time is in my control
money
is a
pitch black hole
yielding to depression
betrays my lack
of imagination
all possible futures
and pasts narrowing
down down
down
to
a fine filed
point.
until one
morning
after
all the wallowing
all the brooding
all the pitiful
pity
i remember
i came
to fight
.
harvest season
conversation,
the naked puppetry of
Raw Meat
while almond eyes
of some imagined czar
gaze in appraisal
a wall
a truck
the czar
is dead
long live
the czar
sizing up the
steaks
carving
shapes out of
the viscera
animal
husbandry
made flesh,
made death,
made pray tell
what for, if not
to breed
for cannibal
oligarchs on
ramparts and white
marble steps
inclining
slightly down so
the red waste spills
with the lure
of gravity
til th reins return
us home
to chains
matted hair and
Brains
rot from the steam
fellow passengers
poached
in that
prison sauna
grey gums
grey teeth
give up in
relief
skitter to corners
trailing primary
colored smears
on a floor of ash
bone soot,
meal for bread
or gruel
time as cruel
as the scythe
kills over and over
in baby steps
none less divisible
than the
last
but growing
invisible
before my caste
the wilderness of
indifference
an ice pick in my lung
keep outta the sun, boy
when you hunt
someone
i exhale piny rich smoke
onto the intangible
plane of morning light
eluding the blinds
suddenly then dense
blue marble
swirls before me
then mottled gray
then a ghost of slow white
as if the globe's motion was
at a sonic frequency
i saw countless millennia
processed, purified
by distance and
infinity
patience is not the
purview of humanity
for we don't have time
to watch the minerals
do their long form dance
mercy offends mars,
passion and grace
we can only pour out
so long as blood
will still spill
when our hearts open
over the desert floor
you are a nail i
grow weary of
chewing
also
a point approaching
infinite
density
you will be named
and survive the race
that called you
such a thing
and when they
are dust, cosmic
your vacuum it
blows them all
somewhere into
your streaming hair
and the other hair
glistening
lashes, nipples, labia
ornamentation and
limbs, fragrance,
folding time,
light, the stuff
of viscera,
the stuff of life
into what it is,
what we are,
what are we
but galactic
pollen, souls
indeterminate fractions
existing nowhere
and two places in
the same instant
but keep dividing
apprentice,
without lies nothingness
something wicked
comes on the
face of the math
revealing your sketched
dimensions in
these stellar clouds
marching across
the patio with
fernet and a coke
she beams
rises
moves to greet
me
precious minutes left
i tell
her
she moves in
real and warm
we press
together
i know the drink
will catch
up
before long
but in that embrace
the pressure swelling
my head
capitulates
my limbs should
feel like i was
just electrocuted
yet
i am absurdly
alive and
ranting dramatic
overcome with
such a
minor success
my romance is
childish
gorgeously
naive
i'm in my teens
again
feeling too much
optimism
its bad for my skin
and worse
on the
heart
i read too much
into
these things
i tell
myself
not to get
attached
so fast
but this gamble
of nature
neutered by
reason and experience
is the only
way i know
degenerate romantic
drunk poet songsmith
seeking madonna
whore to infest
ingest and inquest
my eyes have been
called icebergs
but i think
they meant
shitty blue marbles
catching the sun
i wear no jewelry
and bear no ink
my scars are faded
tracks and cigarette
burns from desperate
arguments past
lets meet up
and become carnivorous
felines of another
continent
we will smell
one another
paw at our pelts
and rip out throats
with our teeth
we can travel
imagined
without risk
without cost
within territories
prepared by
our paranoias
and prophecies
stilted recall
of your wasted ass
you flashed
your cunt at me
before swallowing
in the ladies' room
gerald tells me
its yr own ass
in the world.
cover it.
i'm pretty positive
nothing is changed
from you to
this one.
nothing.
